41 days since I last posted...
I can't believe it's been that long and yet,
it seems like 401 days...
When I think about all that's happened!
The first week of February I went to Jackson to watch my new grandson as my daughter-in-law went back to work. We called it "transitioning" but I knew the truth: it was my excuse to do nothing but rock and sing to an 8-week-old for 5 days.
Wishful thinking!
I hadn't even made it to Jackson when my phone started ringing.
An apartment building in Pascagoula had been condemned and the residents were being evicted immediately. One of the tenants was a gentleman I'd gotten off the streets four months before.
So in between feedings I was on the phone. With residents, with city officials, with other agencies. I wasn't there when the "big meeting" took place between agencies and city officials. But dozens of others were. They made their presence known, pledged support, and...vanished.
Surprise. Surprise.
People like looking good on paper.
But there were a couple of organizations who remained faithful as well and we were able to push the city's deadline back to the following week.
My daughter-in-law called me Erin Brockovich.
When I got home the REAL work began. Residents were in those apartments to begin with because they couldn't rent anywhere else. They had felonies, bad credit, no jobs...
There were women with six and seven kids in one and two-bedroom apartments with no furniture, and oftentimes, no electricity. They needed more than just a new place to rent.
In the end, we placed all but one tenant and the eviction turned out to be a blessing in disguise for many. It wasn't without struggles, and some manipulation, but we were able to share the love of Christ. And that's what matters.
The week after everyone was moved chaos erupted in Tent City. You cannot continue on in sin day in and day out without it growing, and for the homeless there, the vile nature of Satan was never more evident.
Angry over a minor altercation, one of my guys set fire to a woman's tent.
While she was sleeping.
He'd done this to someone before and the other guy had run off terrified.
Not Marsha.
She was mad and not about to back down.
So the next night, while he was sleeping, she set fire to his tent.
As he came running out, she attacked him repeatedly with a bat.
I've known both of them for over a year and what I saw that next day made me sick.
The struggling souls I've been ministering to were gone and I knew I was looking at the demons that took control.
It was the first time that I left there saying I wouldn't go back.
I've been protected; I've felt safe.
And even though I didn't feel like I was in any danger, even as they tried to talk to me while threatening each other, I knew the Lord was pulling me away.
Quite frankly, I'd only be in His way at this point. Maybe this is the place they need to be to reach up.
I haven't stopped caring. In fact, I've never cared more. It breaks my heart and yet, I am hopeful that their "bottom" will come soon.
As far as the others:
Katie had her baby, a gorgeous and healthy baby girl. She's currently couch-hopping but since her mail is coming here, she keeps me informed of where she is.
Susan is back in the abusive relationship, crying the same stories, and wondering why nothing changes. I don't know what else to do.
But there are good stories too!
Ronnie has been accepted into a program that will provide housing and the mental health care he needs. I have mixed feelings about setting someone up with secular mental health, but as long as I can't provide an alternative, it's better than him being on the streets.
Eric got into VA housing a few months ago and is still doing well. He's working and has made friends. He quit drinking and keeps his new apartment spotless!
Melvin got a certificate from the mission he's staying in up north. (We put him on a bus right before Christmas.) He'd completed a course and was beaming when he received it. "It's just a piece of paper," the other guys said. "NO," Melvin replied, "It's the first thing I've accomplished in 40 years. It's more than a piece of paper to me!"
I cried myself when he sent me the picture of his certificate! I'm so proud of him.
In the midst of it all, I've been working on taxes for our personal filing, the church, the ministry, and the business we manage. My system was one filing cabinet drawer per org.
That's right. One per drawer.
Not one drawer for the labeled files for each organization.
One drawer for all the paperwork and receipts that I'd go through before the end of the year.
Then the end of January.
Then I started freaking out! Why hadn't I created a better system? Why had I procrastinated?
The problem had gotten so bad that I had no idea where to start.
How often does that happen with spiritual problems?
I enlisted the help of my daughter and nephew and brought 10,000 receipts to Louisiana for them to separate by month. That done, I was able to organize the receipts, calculate, and add to a spreadsheet.
It took nearly a month and I didn't stop once I'd gotten all of 2015 completed. I did January and February of 2016 as well and created a system that should keep that from ever happening again.
It will require a little daily maintenance, as well as some monthly work. But I won't find myself with an elephant of an insurmountable mess again.
I wish I'd have done the same with my weight.
People can tell me I'm still beautiful, I look healthy, blah blah blah...
They mean well and they are trying to make me feel better.
But like my homeless guys, maybe I don't need someone making it better for me. This was wrong.
It isn't about vanity at all. (Though I do hate the way I look, so maybe it's a little about that.)
But it's really about health.
I walked in that optimal health. And because I was rebellious, and defiant, I steadily gained weight, telling God that He should make it go away despite the choices I was making. He didn't and I didn't sacrifice at all.
Now my back hurts, my knee feels like it's ripped in two, and I'm tired all the time.
I can still serve God, don't get me wrong. I'm still ministering. But it isn't the same. It can't be. The pain alone is distracting.
It's easy to rebuke the darts of Satan when you aren't in pain. It's a lot harder when you are.
I've made dietary changes. I've started walking again.
But like that mound of receipts, it seems like too much to ever get to where I want to be.
This time, when NOT IF, I get this under control, I'm going to keep it there.
I am humbled once again by how much farther I am from the image of God than I thought.
