I'm Telling on You

I pretty much outgrew telling on my friends when I was six.


Four decades later, I'm quite averse to rekindling the habit.


But today was an exception.


After lingering in a coma for months, my homeless friend had a miraculous recovery and was doing well. He'd gone back to his home state of Florida and moved into the Kearney Center (actual name).


The Kearney Center in Tallahassee opened this past spring and is one of the best programs I've seen to combat homelessness in the country. With medical, dental, and vision care, along with hot meals, showers, and a warm bed with an attached footlocker, the homeless have everything they need in one place.


Case managers are assigned to each of the nearly four hundred clients at the center. But this isn't a long-term facility. An article by TaMaryn Waters of the Tallahassee Democrat explains the emergency shelter purpose:


Each client at the Kearney Center is encouraged to meet with a case manager within 72 hours. They're given 60 days to transition out of emergency shelter and into housing.
Exceptions are made for those waiting on income, such as disability checks or other housing. But, if they're not actively looking for housing or trying to help themselves out of homelessness, (Chuck)White (who oversees overall operations and partnerships with agencies) said, they can be removed from the center.
"What we are trying to do is get people to be compliant and get them out of homelessness," he said. "We don't want warehousing."


This is an incredible program and my friend was thriving. He was receiving needed medical care and his case manager had been able to get the disability approved he'd been working on for years. He was happy; he'd reconciled with his family; and he was sober.


Then the woman came along.


And it all went out the window.


They moved into a tent in the woods. The doctors have already told him that he will die if he goes back to that life, even if he stays sober. It's just not safe for him.


But she doesn't care. She caused problems at the shelter and hated the segregated women's and men's living quarters. She wasn't in control and she manipulated him into leaving with her. Quite like a controlling spouse, she took his phone and his interaction with his family is now through her only.


She lied to his family, claiming they are still at center. She lied to the disability worker. She's lying to the food stamp workers, claiming to be living in both Mississippi and Florida, as well as using a false name. So it was hard for me to believe her when she called claiming they left because there were too many drugs at the facility.  


He will die out there.


Sadly, I think she's capable of expediting the matter. Especially if she becomes a beneficiary of back pay.


I'm worried about him.


So I called his mom.


She's been down this road before and was disappointed, but not surprised. As wrong as the woman is, he's the one who's chosen to follow her. He's cut her out of his life three times now, only to let her back in. I don't think he realizes the extent of her manipulation but he does know he was doing better without her.


The worst part is that even he knows it isn't love.


It's just loneliness.


And that's the saddest part of all.