My Proverbs 31 Experiment

I saw a book at the library today with the catchiest title: "My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife" by Sara Horn.


It looked interesting so I brought it home. I'd always admired the Proverbs 31 Woman and (still) believe that any women's program modeled after that piece of scripture would be successful, whatever strongholds the woman had.


A few hours later my husband picked the book up from the coffee table and brought it to me.


"Look at this," he said excitedly.


I'd been looking forward to delving into Ms. Horn's mind but wasn't sure why my husband had a similar enthusiasm for my new library book. Quizzically I turned to face him.


"What?" Obviously I'd seen the book. I was the one who'd brought it home. What I hadn't noticed was the sub-title.


He did.


Moving his finger under the words A One-Year Experiment... he pretended to be amazed. "Look, she made it a WHOLE YEAR."


Okay, dear. Point gotten.


I tried my own Proverbs 31 experiment last October. I spent the last two weeks of September preparing. I read every Bible translation of each verse, paying special attention to my Granddaddy's Amplified Bible. I filled up an entire spiral-bound notebook with notes and my own plans to implement this sacred chapter in my life.


On October 1st I began a new notebook, one that I'd planned to chronicle my daily journey. Maybe one day I'd publish a book. (I didn't know at the time that Sara Horn had beaten me to it.)


October 1: The entry was okay, nothing spectacular but a little more effort on my part. I'd gotten up early, baked homemade biscuits, cleaned my house, helped my husband, visited a shelter, spent time with the Lord. I even got a sewing machine! (It is still sitting unused in my closet.) I tried unsuccessfully to stay up late but I'd been up since 5 and I was exhausted. Going to bed earlier than my "household" made me feel like a failure. I vowed to do better the next day.


October 2: Homemade biscuits again, cleaned house. My husband was working on some home improvement projects that day. In my life I'd learned two things: make myself scarce when my dad balanced the checkbook and when my husband worked on things in the house. But the Proverbs 31 woman would never abandon her husband to make it easier on herself so I stuck around. I brought him tea and socket wrenches and lovingly encouraged him when he'd threaten to throw the hammer out the window. Somewhere in the midst of this major renovation, he uncharacteristically stopped and told me how much he loved me and appreciated my support. (While that is not unusual on a normal day, it doesn't often happen when he's surrounded by sheetrock and crown molding.) I had no trouble staying up that night as I had tapped in to what few women ever would: the complete and utter joy of being a Proverbs 31 woman.


That evening I floated on a cloud. I felt like a queen. I slept better than ever. I praised God, thanked Him, and felt sorry for all the women who just didn't know that the answer to all their problems was to be more like me.


October 3: I packed a suitcase to move back home to my mother's.


I don't even remember what happened but I know it was one of the worst fights we ever had. I knew instinctively it was related to my experiment and the words "a haughty spirit before a fall" filled my brain. How can I have been so stupid?


I was a dog wounded in a ferocious fight, licking my wounds and cowering in fear. I threw the notebook in a bottom drawer, as if its very presence could harm me.


October 8: I'd spent five days scared to even continue my experiment but I'd made a commitment and I intended to see it through. I basically did what I had always done with two exceptions. I was still on a quest to find the perfect homemade biscuit recipe and I tried to pause before any response, good or bad.


October 9: I'm not sure what happened this day as the date is the last thing in my journal.


And just like that, my experiment was over. I spent more time planning than implementing.


I did manage to find my favorite biscuit recipe (and gain about 25 lbs. that month.)


I also learned that staying calm when my husband is overworked or tired does wonders for our marriage. He also needs to blow off steam sometimes without a major confrontation.


I've continued to pause first (for the most part) when something upsets me, though I no longer try to temper a happy dance when I'm excited. (The Proverbs 31 woman isn't an emotionless robot.)


My dreams for a book vanished on page 3.


But at least I had enough for a blog post!


My Go-To (Sorta) Homemade Biscuit Recipe:
(This was everyone's favorite next to a white flour, cream cheese, butter recipe that I could never duplicate.)


2 cups Bisquik baking mix
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup Sprite
1/4 cup butter


Preheat oven to 400. Melt butter in cast-iron skillet while mixing first three ingredients. Roll out onto floured surface (do not overwork) and cut to desired thickness. Bake for 10-15 minutes.


"Red Lobster-ish" variation: Add melted butter, shredded cheddar, garlic salt, and parmesan cheese to mixture. Drop onto hot skillet. Bake for 8-10 minutes.