Overgrown Teenagers

My husband Dale and I had four teenagers in the house at the same time. I was also teaching "new" teens in junior high, and he was coaching "old" teens playing college football.


We became quite knowledgeable about the workings of adolescent minds.


Their mindset was simple: We know everything; you know nothing.


Their expectations even simpler: Gimme.


It was quite a time.


But part of the joy of parenting (and teaching and coaching) teenagers is watching as these beautiful souls turn into fully formed human beings.


For every adolescent struggle, there's a victory waiting on the other side.


For every "I hate you!" there's a moment when the only cure is a mother's embrace.


For every derisive remark of a parent's ability to understand, there's a knowing revelation.


That one usually doesn't come until after grandchildren arrive.


But the one thing I've noticed in street ministry is that most are still in their teenage phase.


The mentality is the same. The attitudes are the same.


The only difference is the age.


Kelvin is a 57-year old, highly educated, well-groomed man.


He called me the other night and left a message. The words were nearly identical to three other messages he's left in the past.


"If you could just help me out this one time I will NEVER ask you for anything ever again. I promise."


I think I've heard that five hundred and forty seven million times in my life.


It is precisely that mentality that keeps some of the homeless on the streets. They want what they want, when they want it. They have a sense of entitlement and are often impatient.


I came home today to 27 missed calls on my phone, all from the same number. My voicemail was working but she chose to hang up and call back every three minutes instead.


She wanted someone to pay her light bill.


There were two problems there.


First, we have access to two databases that track charitable donations. I can see that she has gotten an organization to pay her utility bill by using the same story for seven months in a row. I don't think her husband had seven heart attacks.


The other problem is the annoyance factor.


Maybe you aren't supposed to get annoyed in the ministry. But sometimes I do.


You know how kids pester for an answer you aren't quite ready to give? Some people just give in and say yes. I was always the parent to say no because I refused to be hounded into an answer.


My kids caught on quick.


I heard my oldest three advising their youngest sister one day after her multiple requests had been ignored.


"Kaden, you better stop asking Mom. She's going to say no if you keep bugging her."


"But maybe means no," she whined.


"Your whining will be a no," they further counseled. "You just have to know how Mom works. Go make her a glass of tea or give her a foot rub or something."


At least they knew they needed to do something.


Most people on the streets want something for nothing.


Like Javeon. He called last night. He didn't want help with "food, or money, or anything like that." He just needed help paying his bills. I'm guessing paying bills is not the same as giving money in his eyes.


He gave me the story of his wife's medical condition and their inability to pay rent in their apartment. He just needed to pay the landlord or they would be evicted. They'd lived there and paid their bills on time for seven months until this tragedy.


What he didn't realize was that not only had his wife been calling all week with a different story, but he had called me two months ago with a story about his house being burned down in a fire. I didn't even bother calling him out on that.


The address he gave me for his "single-dwelling apartment" was actually the local crack motel. I just told him we couldn't help with motel rent.


He was shocked that I knew.


What can I say?  I raised teenagers.